Make the Portobello and tempeh: Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Put the Portobello in a deep baking dish and pour in the soy sauce, two cups (480 milliliters) water, the garlic, ginger, rice wine vinegar, shiitakes, sambal, green onions, and oil. Swish it all around, wrap the baking dish in aluminum foil, and cook in the oven 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool to room temperature. Put the Portobello and tempeh in a small container; ladle some of the liquid over them, cover and place in the fridge 24 hours.
Make the RRP BBQ sauce: In a medium saucepan set over medium heat, pour the oil and cook the onion and garlic until caramelized, about five minutes. Add the roasted red peppers, ketchup, molasses, apple cider vinegar, sugar, paprika, dry mustard, cumin, coriander, ginger, and chile flakes; bring to a boil. Add two cups (480 milliliters) water and simmer 45 minutes. Transfer to a blender and blend until smooth. (Make sure to fill the blender only halfway so it doesn’t explode all over you and your kitchen. If you have a hand blender, you can use that.) Let cool, then pour into a container, cover, and place in the refrigerator 24 hours.
Make the pickled red onion: Place the onion in a mixing bowl; add the salt, sugar, lemon juice, and white vinegar. With your hands, mix and massage the onions, then submerge them (as they start to pickle, they will release water). Let sit one hour (you can mix until they start to turn pink). This is a very quick easy pickle. When the onions start turning bright pink, place them in the fridge.
Make the whipped avocado: Place the avocado and tofu in a food processor. Add the lime zest and juice and blend. Pour in the oil in a single slow stream, processing. Add salt to taste and place in an airtight container in the refrigerator. Put the pit of the avocado in the container to help with oxidation.
Make the sandwich: Preheat the broiler and place a rack in the middle of the oven. Drain the tempeh and Portobello and put them on a baking sheet; season with salt and pepper. Place the baking sheet in the oven and let the tempeh and Portobello get some color, five minutes. Be careful not to burn them! Add the RRP BBQ sauce on the tempeh, then return to the oven to scorch the top of the BBQ sauce. Remove from the oven and put the mushrooms on top of the tempeh. Broil the bread, drizzle with some oil, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Spoon a good amount of whipped avocado on two slices of bread, then add lettuce and tomato on the bottom; season with salt and pepper. Place the tempeh with the Portobello on top, then add a bunch of pickled red onions. Top with a fluffy layer of alfalfa sprouts and the second slice of bread. Cut the sandwich in half and skewer with an olive and pickled hot pepper. Now make six of these at once without Jesse B. Harris. Good luck.